Ludo Ergo Sum
Monday, March 29, 2004
And Now, Something Completely Different (a little comic relief of a sort)
Well, one more post and I'll call it done for now... I was sitting downstairs after my wife had gone to bed late last week and I thought that every once in a while I come up with a statement that is actually pretty amusing. I had a couple things pop into my head and needed to write them down or I would forget them and it would bug the heck out of me for the rest of my life, or at least until I forgot just how funny I thought it was. Anyway, this is a bit of what I came up with:
I showed up to a party once and decided to make a joke by showing up with my underwear on my head… I got arrested for indecent exposure.
I got so desperate once I hired one of those fancy escort service places. They called me the next day and said they didn’t want my business anymore ‘cause my “date” couldn’t work any more. She kept getting sick at the thought of having to come back… Stupid inflate-a-date.
One day I tried to get some action by going to a necrophiliac’s convention and playing dead… I just kept getting the comment “Hey I may be a necrophiliac, but even I have standards.”
I couldn’t get a date if I showed up naked at a convention for nymphomaniacs.
When my wife farts, she keeps trying to tell me that it smells like roses. Those are some NASTY roses… She’s in charge of the gardening, too. I’m a little afraid of what she’s going to plant.
I got so desperate once I hired one of those fancy escort service places. They called me the next day and said they didn’t want my business anymore ‘cause my “date” couldn’t work any more. She kept getting sick at the thought of having to come back… Stupid inflate-a-date.
One day I tried to get some action by going to a necrophiliac’s convention and playing dead… I just kept getting the comment “Hey I may be a necrophiliac, but even I have standards.”
I couldn’t get a date if I showed up naked at a convention for nymphomaniacs.
When my wife farts, she keeps trying to tell me that it smells like roses. Those are some NASTY roses… She’s in charge of the gardening, too. I’m a little afraid of what she’s going to plant.
First Real Post and a Religious Experience
It's amazing when you sit down to record your thoughts how you very quickly discover that, in fact, you don't have any. This is probably the reason that when I attempt to keep a journal it doesn't last very long. Hopefully I will have better success in this forum. At least I have an old journal so that if I get too stumped, I can just resurrect something I wrote a long time ago, put that out there and then muse on it. I probably won't even bother to pretend that it's new. I'm doing this for myself for the most part, after all, and in most things I have a really tough time fooling myself.
I should probably be getting things done around the house right now, but this is being entirely too good of a distraction for me to resist. I'll give myself just a little more time and then I'll get to it.
At this point I am going to implement a warning system so that people who are easily offended by preachiness can avoid those parts of my blog where I go that way. The following section is going to be about as preachy as I get as it involves a profound religious experience, so please take note of the formatting.
Anyone who knows me is almost certain to have heard this story before, but I feel like putting it down again anyway. Maybe this will satisfy my story telling craving thus sparing some poor hapless soul who would otherwise be inflicted with it:
Once when I was in High School I had a very interesting dream. I dreamt I was in a room with a very low ceiling and lots of tiny columns that had that feeling that you only get from underground rooms. I was sitting with a group of people and knew that we were there to listen to the person up in front. That person just happened to be facing away at the time and had paused in speaking when the person next to me leaned over and whispered in my ear, "What are we going to do when he's gone?" I responded "Don't you understand? He's the Christ. He'll never truly be gone." At this momend the figure in the front turned around and looked at me. I couldn't see what he looked like, though. It was like looking at the sun. Where he was, my vision was overwhelmed so that I couldn't make anything out. He opened his arms and I felt him smiling at me and was immediately struck as if by lightning with glorious joy. It is a feeling I can never forget, just thinking about it brings the edges of it back and I am energized. In that moment any doubt I ever had of my Christianity was washed away. I may have doubts occasionally about what being Christian really means, but I can never doubt that Christ is in my life and will be forever.
Once when I was in High School I had a very interesting dream. I dreamt I was in a room with a very low ceiling and lots of tiny columns that had that feeling that you only get from underground rooms. I was sitting with a group of people and knew that we were there to listen to the person up in front. That person just happened to be facing away at the time and had paused in speaking when the person next to me leaned over and whispered in my ear, "What are we going to do when he's gone?" I responded "Don't you understand? He's the Christ. He'll never truly be gone." At this momend the figure in the front turned around and looked at me. I couldn't see what he looked like, though. It was like looking at the sun. Where he was, my vision was overwhelmed so that I couldn't make anything out. He opened his arms and I felt him smiling at me and was immediately struck as if by lightning with glorious joy. It is a feeling I can never forget, just thinking about it brings the edges of it back and I am energized. In that moment any doubt I ever had of my Christianity was washed away. I may have doubts occasionally about what being Christian really means, but I can never doubt that Christ is in my life and will be forever.
Welcome to my mind.
Finally, at long last I am attempting to blog. I've been a web programmer for several years and have loved spewing my thoughts out at everyone I know for as long as I can remember, so it is a bit surprising I have gone this long without blogging. Anyone reading this can expect some humor, some "deep thoughts" and a lot of disjointed rambling.
A quick warning to those who don't know me: I am a programmer, singer, computer hardware tech, artist, network guru, cook, dad, husband, tinkerer and teacher just to name a few. I suffer from ADD, high intelligence and a bizarre combination of being unbelievably overinflated by ego and absolutely crushed by low self-esteem. I'm also about to start a job giving training so I may get a little teachy. I'm also profoundly christian, so I may get a little preachy. I make no guarantees that anyone will not be offended, but in general people don't find me so.
I intend to use this blog to babble, vent and otherwise take long rambling walks through what I feel, think and believe so you can expect something similar to the nature of a public diary. I also am not very self-conscious and tend to over-share so the oversharing rule is suspended for this blog. ("Over-sharing, roughing the listener, two beer penalty.")
So, without further ado, I am pleased to present my blog...
